literature

Prisons and Palaces Pt2 Ch8

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I saw dat me last comment had been taken de wrong way, so I decided to try and fix it. "Mandy, I meant simply dat seeing you in yer birthday suit makes Billy realize how much he loves you. Tink of it as de whole package kinda ting." All she did was glare, I was jus' makin' it worse!

"PACKAGE!?" Mandy was livid! "Well, I certainly don't intent to be UNWRAPPED by the likes of him!

"Ok, wrong word, but I'm certain Billy would never compare you to some streetwalker, and if you'd CALM DOWN, I'm sure you'd realize dat. Let's face it, da man would step in front of a train for you."

"Either you LEAVE or teleport ME to Billy's!"

Grim could see that Mandy had been spun up rather well, and it would be some time before she calmed down, so he relented.

"I tink...I'll leave. Dat way you can calm down a bit on yer way to Billy's. I suggest ya walk. Oh, and I am truly sorry for laughing at you. Choosing to remain an innocent in dis crazy day and age is morally commendable."

I leaned in an' kissed her on de cheek, "Really, I do apologize, and please, no jokes about the kiss of death. Dey's getting kinda old."

I gave a weak, but wry smile as Grim teleported out. Sometimes, his unexpected corny comments managed to cheer me up when I needed it most. Still, the issue with Billy remained, so I wolfed down the rest of my dinner and headed out. Perhaps, Grim was right. I would walk and figure out some answers to Billy's questions.

                                               **********

As I approached the apartment building where Billy still lived, I noticed he hadn't moved his car yet. The old beater had been built in 1999, and was broken more often than it ran. Good, at least Billy couldn't get a DUI. I might be Queen now, but there were some things I refused to fix, and that would be one of them. If any of my so called friends got a DUI that would be too bad for them. Such alcoholic foolishness deserved the punishment that was attached to it!

I entered the building and soon stopped at Billy's door. After taking a deep breath and a moment to get focused, I knocked loudly. At first there was no answer, so I tried again with three more raps. Putting my ear to the door told me someone was there. I heard activity, it sounded like a...saxophone? I then heard a voice...a woman's voice.

"Billy, open up right now before I kick this damn door in!" I gave it three more LOUD bangs! The flimsy particle board door would splinter if I persisted, so I stopped for just a moment. I was just about to kick it below the doorknob when Billy opened the door.

"WHAT?" He was in a bathrobe, and was apparently shaving when I came by. His hair was wet, and half his beard was gone. I had interrupted his grooming routine it seems. "Give me a moment, why don't ya!"

I saw a spikey haired woman standing in the back of the room, and pointed to her. "It seems you've already HAD A MOMENT!" I took a long baleful look at her, and she matched me stare for stare. If not for the hairdo, she could have been my twin, or a least sister. We pretty much had the same build, and height.

Billy waved me in and I slammed the door shut along the way. The still as yet unnamed woman who was dressed in red moved towards the door with a saxophone case. Clearly, she wanted to leave, so after a moment I moved aside to let her out. I wanted no witnesses if I had to pound some sense into Billy, and I thought how typically cliche of him, a one night stand dressed in red! I wasted no time confronting Billy about Ms. Saxophone!

"Billy, Grim told me about last night, so I come here to try and talk to you about it. I wanted to reach a common ground and I walked to think it over, but what do I find WHEN I GET HERE? You're with another woman, so please explain how you love me again. I'd really like to hear that!" It was then the woman in red spoke.

"There's been a huge misunderstanding here. You must be Mandy, my name is Lisa Simpson and I am the sister of Billy's penpal since the 9th grade. The National High School PenPal Program was a wonderful way different high schools across the country could communicate with one another. Didn't you have a penpal?"

"NO, but...go...on." God, she sounded so completely square! Still, it sounded plausible, and I did recall that program. I just wasn't interested in it. Yammering on to a complete stranger about my personal life was not one of my priorities. Billy began to nod very vigorously when Lisa finished, so I let him continue.

"You remember me talking about Bart Simpson from Springfield, right? He sends me all this killer beer I'm always drinking." He was right on that part at least. I looked around and saw numerous cans of DUFF beer all over the place. So, that's where he got it from. If I ever drank a beer it would be imported and not some bargain basement domestic swill. I kicked a few cans out of my way and thought using a trashcan was never a Billy finepoint.

"I was passing through Endsville on my way back home and remembered Billy lived here, so I thought I'd look up Bart's penpal. That's all, nothing happened." Lisa took a long feminine and appraising look at Billy, then added, "Trust me on that." She looked at me directly, coughed nervously, then finished, "Well, I must be off, I'm late. Good luck with the song, Billy."

Lisa waved kinda shyly, then left so fast the door stayed open. She wasn't out two seconds before Billy started in on me.

"I'll CHANGE, BILLY! You'll see! Jeez, you're barely here and you start a shitstorm. You haven't changed at all, just grown older!"

"HOW DARE YOU!?" I got up in his face after that crack.

"She was my guest, Mandy. That's how I dare!" He moved closer, and we were face to face, inches apart.

"With that godawful tacky red whatever the hell it was she was wearing? Tell me you didn't want her!"

"Lisa wears red sometimes like you used to wear that pink dress you always seemed to wear. That's all."

"Well, excuse the hell outta me. It has no straps and with just an elastic top, anyone could be naked within seconds!"

"WHAT IS IT WIT YOU AND BEING NAKED! Christ, I returned you to your human state with Jeff's old venom, and you nearly killed me as Spider Mandy, but sin of sins, I saw your unclothed pristine body. As you said, excuse the hell outta me. What else WAS I supposed to do!"

"Billy, I am grateful, don't misunderstand that. I just won't have you leering at me, UNDERSTAND!?" I moved closer and got right up in his face!

"I DO! Damn, were you this uptight with your first lover!?" Billy moved in and we were practically touching each other!

"WHAT LOVER? I'm a virgin, you damn fool! I..." It was then I realized I had said too much, and knew it by the totally astonished look on Billy's face.

Billy backed off, backed way off, and exclaimed, "You're a...you've been...um...celibate all these years? Is that what this is about, you don't think I'm ...worthy?" He looked like his parents had just died, I could see the hurt.

"Well, maybe I have a surprise for you too, missy! You think I'm into one night stands? Well, have you ACTUALLY seen me with another woman? Maybe all these years I have been waiting myself."

"What are you saying, Billy? " I had an idea where this was going and in a moment, Billy confirmed it.

"Yeah, the Big V, I've been waiting, but maybe I don't wanna wait no mo! Maybe I don't want you anymore! You're a power mad woman who don't care nothin about nothin except herself!"

"Billy, stop this song and dance this instant."

"SHUTT UPPPP!! Odd you should mention song, Lisa was helping me with a song I was trying to write for you. It don't matter anymore, and who wants kids with a woman that changes into a giant spider. I wouldn't wish that on any one's kids!" Billy then moved towards me again and pretty much gave me the bums rush to the open door. He didn't hit me, but he stiff armed me on the shoulder and pushed me out into the hall, then slammed it hard in my face. I had to remember that he was older and stronger. As a kid, he could've never done that!

Faced with this sudden turn of events, I did the only thing I could think of, I screamed at the top of my lungs for a few moments, pounded on the door,  then stomped out of the building. Damn his ass, see if I ever came back!

                                  ELSEWHERE IN A VICTORIAN MANSION

The entity smiled, if one could call it that. The ones who dwelled before had returned with their delicious negative food. Eating would be fun again!
Mandy and Grim end their discussion when Mandy decides to go to Billy's apartment and clear the air about the past.
It doesn't go as planned due to a mysterious woman in red.

...and the entity doesn't mind at all!

Chapter Nine
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TrickyTiara's avatar
Ahaha! Endsville’s queen having a shouting match!